A Man of the Pandas

Sir Wilfrid Laurier once quipped that the 20th century would belong to Canada. Not quite. But by the looks of it the 21st century may be ours because, thanks to Stephen Harper, our country Canada, the true north strong and free, has pandas. And not just any pandas – giant pandas from China. Well, they’re not our pandas. They’re rental pandas. But at ten million bucks, they are awesome.

And I for one am proud to say that I am on the panda train. And kudos to our Prime Minister for clearing his schedule, gassing up the plane and flying to Toronto to meet the pandas in person. The only time he’s done that before was for Obama and the Queen. And this is way cooler because unlike those two, the pandas may mate on Canadian soil.

And what an honour it must have been for the pandas themselves. I mean think of it, one minute you’re sitting there in Chengdu, chewing on a bamboo shoot spiked with Benzo Diazopine, 15 hours later you wake up on a tarmac at Pearson International where Stephen Harper is banging on your cage and making a smiley face. These are moments in a panda’s life that they will not forget.

And kudos to my friends at the CBC News Network for their exhaustive coverage because I’m too young to remember the moon landing or the end of the Second World War so it’s nice to know what those events must have felt like.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have always loved pandas. I’ve always had a soft spot for big cuddly vegetarians that purr when the prime minister scratches them behind the ear. But enough about John Baird.

Stephen Harper said that over the coming years, thanks to these pandas, we will learn more about one another and ourselves, namely we can forget federal responsibility for national debt, youth unemployment or the sorry state of aboriginal schools because: We got pandas!

Posted: 03/04/2013 7:56:12 AM | with 0 comments

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