Grid Block

I have a picture in my telephone of a Ford F-150 pickup truck and it is blocking an entire intersection. Now I watched as he slowly entered into a crowded intersection, on a yellow light, knowing full well he was not going to make it all the way through. His light turned red, boom, he’s stuck. My light turns green but can I move forward? No, of course not, because thanks to him I’m stuck. Everyone behind me, they’re stuck. Total gridlock in all four directions.

People are getting frustrated; people are late for dinner; carbon is flowing into the atmosphere; kidneys are not getting to the O.R. on time all because of that guy. And the guy just sat there with that look on his face that was like, yup, here I am blocking an intersection, ruining everyone’s day and I don’t care.

Look, traffic is a real problem in this country. We’ve all spent too much time stuck in it. Yes, experts have all sorts of theories on how to improve it but if you want a solution, one that’s not going to cost money, one that’s going to make money, this is it: Make the people who block the intersection pay. Make them pay a lot. All of them. And there are a tonne of them. This is a gold mine in Narcissism.

Hire someone to stand on the corner during rush hour and if someone puts their big stupid minivan in the middle of an intersection and blocks traffic, issue them a large prohibitive fine. Except we do not call it a fine, we can call it what it is. A -- Yes Everyone Hates You -- tax. If you want to act like you’re the only person on the planet, pay for the privilege.

Posted: 04/10/2017 9:25:17 AM | with 0 comments

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