Dear Friends and Supporters,

Canada's new government is now 16 months old.

Like any happy healthy 16 month old every day is full of challenges. One minute things are looking rosy and we seem like we have complete control of our faculties, the next minute we become completely irrational, bash our head into a the wall and wet ourselves for no apparent reason.

However we have accomplished much in those 16 months. Before Canada's new government came to power parents who had children enrolled in hockey didn't receive a tax deduction. Canada's new government heard the cry and we answered the call. If your kid is in hockey you can now deduct a dollar thirty a day from your income tax. If you don't have a kid in hockey you are probably gay or lesbian.

Promise made promise kept my friends.

Other highlights of the mandate so far? I have seen many hockey games. I met Russian hockey star Vladislav Tretiak and I acquired the services of a personal stylist whose job it is to pick out a lip gloss for me every day. Understand that when I say "I" acquired the services of a stylist what I really mean is that you the tax payer did. She is on your dime so in many ways she is Canada's personal stylist, in much the same way the Governor General is Canada's Governor General. Also I am proud to say that very early in my mandate I ensured that senior citizens in every province and territory lost billions of dollars they had invested in income trusts. I should add that the hockey games were very exciting for me personally and that I prefer a bubble gum flavored gloss over cherry.

Speaking of gloss, I now believe the time has now come for the Conservative Party of Canada to reveal 5 new priorities. They are.

1. Aboriginal issues – Canada's new government recognizes that Canada's aboriginal peoples have legitimate land claims that should be dealt with in a timely manner. To this end we promise that we will increase the number of attack ads featuring Stephane Dion by 50 percent in the next three months. In the words of great Canadian actor Joe Two Rivers – me like-em Stephen Harper.

2. The Environment – This was always a priority of Canada's new government but a government employee, a bureaucrat, accidentally spilled white-out on our platform and as a result the word "environment" was lost. This bureaucrat is an incompetent. This was not our fault this was the public services fault. We care about the environment so much we fired a slew of people in the department of the environment and are running a new Stephane Dion attack during the season finale of Canada's next top fashion Model.

3. Northern Sovereignty – The future is in Canada's north. In an effort to ensure that resources in Northern Canada are developed in a responsible way Canada's new government has instructed the department of finance to audit Julie Van Duesen and Mike Duffy's tax returns for the last 11 years. The Mike Duffy's of this world will not stop progress in the North. This must and will stop.

4. Open and Accountable government. Yes the catch phrase open and accountable will not go away. We are prepared to use it every day and every night. To ensure an even more open government communications director Sandra Buckler will now assume her new position as head of the RCMP and Canada's spy agency CSIS. Also we will cut funding to more museums.

5. This fifth priority is a secret. Any suggestion that we couldn't come up with a fifth priority is scurrilous and unfounded. Any individual, group, media outlet, political party or church group who suggests we have run out of ideas supports the Taliban.

And now if I may, I would like to address one particularly worrisome issue facing Canada. Some of you have written to me stating your concern that the party has strayed from its fundamental core principals. As you may have noticed I did not respond. Please do not take this personally. I simply do not respond to letters. Heck, the parents of a deceased soldier wrote me a letter and I didn't bother responding to them so why would I respond to you? What are you going to do vote liberal? Stephane Dion is not a leader, I am a leader, I am the prime minister of Canada and I don't answer letters unless they pertain to hockey.

Now let me pass on a little anecdote. Yesterday a young man said to me "Mr. Harper you are great, thank you for the one cent GST cut, you are great, see you at Tim Horton's!" This is clearly a great Canadian. I tell that story all the time during family time, which happens at the family table where my family and I gather to enjoy time together as a family.

My friends, I only wish Stephane Dion would understand the importance of family but he only has one child and she doesn't even live with him. She goes to university in Quebec. I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up studying in France even. I'm sure he doesn't mind. Liberals hate families more than they hate our troops.

In conclusion let me say God Bless Canada and many Liberals like Navdeep Baines wear turbans and therefore may or may not be associated with extreme elements.

Yours truly,

Stephen Harper

Prime Minister of Canada